Wall Streeters Offered Defenestration Kits: 10.12.08

The Scout Report editorial board was reminded of the 1618 Defenestration of Prague (left, click for larger image), while watching things go terribly wrong on Wall Street from the safety of the bunker it shares with Dick Cheney [HAL 17.41 -1.53 (-8.08%) Oct 10 4:01pm ET] at an undisclosed location. TSR's chief of protocol enforcement and downsizing—Mrs. James Peregrine Leger-Demain IV—is familiar with defenestration (the act of throwing someone out the window), as it is the preferred method of attrition at TSR. Not only is it not easy to achieve from a bunker, it's almost impossible to perform in a modern skyscraper, which is hermetically sealed with non-operable, double-glazed, laminated, window units.

Controlled tangent. Fire and rescue departments in the U.S. have equipment for what they call "penetration-deterrent windows" and what Mrs. IV calls "a temporary inconvenience." The tools include axes, hooligan tools (just what the name suggests), and pike poles. Always drinking from a glass half full, Mrs. IV has assembled defenetration kits for sale in handsome and sturdy canvas bags. [Date of Defenetration (DoD) can be monogrammed on the bag for an extra charge]. Kits will be available while supplies last from TSR interns in front of 11 Wall Street Monday morning. Look for the sign: "No money-back guarantee below the fifth floor!"

 

Comments

[James Topping]

Defenestration kits will soon be de rigeur in every finer home in America. Once again, TSR has brought to light something that all concerned citizens need to be familiar with. Order soon and order lots.